How it all started

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with

Everything takes back to 10 years ago. Times flies but it still feels like it was just yesterday.

It all started with a friend named Erica. Back then in 2007, I already knew her. Well, just the face and name, of course. The time I sat with my cousin, Azura, at Fort Canning and Peninsula with the other skinheads was the time I first saw her. Drunk. She's known for that. Always drunk. Anyway, it was Erica who 'introduced' me to a new circle of friends. It all began from MSN. The famous era for adding people in conference conversations and those who knew each other would bring up their own topic, leaving those who don't know who they are clueless.

So as per usual, it's a norm for us to add the users personally. I came across this particular e-mail address: ain_r.p@hotmail. Blank display picture, no status; Most probably he/she has not accepted my request. Came 10.30pm (or so), I had to go offline. My dad controlled my computer usage... most probably because I used to skip school for 2 weeks in a row, hehe. Just as I was about to sign out from my MSN, ain_r.p@hotmail approached me.

Him: Who is this?
Me: Nina. I added you from the conference? You are?
Him: Oh. Okay. I'm Raf. I got to go chat with you later.
Me: Ok me too bye

His name is Raf. But his e-mail stated Ain. From what I know, Ain is a girl's name. So I assumed he shared the e-mail with his girlfriend. Didn't really think about it. Few days on, or should I say perhaps the next day, at night, he was online again. Sadly, I was the one who had to surrender my broadband modem because I skipped school, again. He approached me with basic questions. What's my age, you know, basic? Just as I replied, my dad got home and I had to respond to Raf in a naive manner:

"I got to go text me at 9******. I won't be online for the next 2 weeks. Can't online"

I forgot if he had the chance to reply or if I had the chance to even check his reply. Unexpectedly, I received an SMS from an unknown number which fortunately I still remember till this day! 81445345 (it's dead already anyway). UNFORTUNATELY, THOUGH, his message was full of codes. Brackets, spaces, typos. FORTUNATELY, I am one who is able to understand without the feel of any frustration. We continued our conversation there. I still remember it happened before the fasting month of 2007, which in that year was around August. As days passed, and after I got back my modem, it was easier to contact. On Friendster, MySpace, MSN. From there I became 'closer' to Erica and their circle of friends. Since it was going to be Aidilfitri, they planned to jalan raya together on a weekday. But then, you know, teenagers tend to not want to be the typical bunch. They had a last minute change of plan - instead of going out in traditional clothes, they're going to put on normal Saturday (on a weekday) clothes - which I thought was fine. 

Before that... I have to admit the first time I saw Raf's photos on Friendster, I thought he was a tall guy. Honestly, I liked the way he smiled. I call it the fishball smile because he has high cheek bones and the way his cheeks go up causing his eyes to squint is just too adorable. Not to mention his box cap, glasses, baggy pants and his tight but not singkat Emery shirt. 

Came the day of our first meet up (along with Aie, Nurul, Elfira, Erica, and Jason), they were late. I came home from school and cooked chicken curry. They told me they were going to reach by 3.30pm. It was already coming 5.30pm and there were no signs of them. But as they say, patience is a virtue. They reached in the end and everyone finished up lots of slices of bread and the curry. My dad said to me, "I don't like your friends". I mean... which parent is going to like a bunch of friends with a tall outstanding one who has LOTS of piercings?! After filling their tummy, we headed off. Where? City Hall. What happened to jalan raya? Yes, jalan raya to City Hall. Back then I was so called an alcoholic. Pretty bad for my age. Just 3-5 bucks for a can of Amsterdam at Peninsula. How glorious, lol. 

My wrist was wrapped up due to an 'accident' with the razor. I wore my green on black Fred Perry polo tee, and Raf wore his forever charming Emery (now not charming anymore). All of us hung out at Marina Square's steps. The trademark of City Hall other than Peninsula and Esplanade! Raf and I went off to buy some drinks. He was playing around until someone from the back shouted "AIN!" God damn the look on his face... it was funny. From a bad boy face, it turned into a shocked face. Anyway. He was relieved it was just his cousin and not his brother, lol. 

I could've sworn I wasn't drunk. I was just not the type of person who could get drunk that easily. We then proceeded to sit at Esplanade's hujung carpark. Raf sat on my lap. All cute and stuff, you know? With his fishball cheeks? Did I mention it? Of course, I did. As I said, I wasn't the type of person who could get drunk easily. But on that day somehow I just got tipsy. Couldn't finish the can. Passed it to Jason (who is a straight edge!) and he accepted it, and drank it! Then he did his Beyonce pump dance move. 

Almost to the end of the day, we hung out at Memo. Of course, where else? Another trademark for City Hall. I had to go off anytime. I had a curfew (and still do now even though I am married and have a kid). Someone called Raf. He asked to excuse but still went to stand behind me with a distance. I could still hear what he was saying. So I don't get it why he wants to be excused when I can still hear him. Hahaha. "Huh? No la I'm still single la. She's just a friend." I turned, waved because he waved first with an awkward smile. He came back, I asked him, your friend called? He said it was his mother. *Smacks forehead* 

Then, before going off, we took pictures. I actually have 4 copies of it. But I deleted or lost 2. I'm left with just one. I hope I don't lose it again that's our first ever photo together. He insisted my Motorola Razr's camera wasn't good but he tried it and he lost. He freakin' lost. I won. 

Bid goodbye and went off. Felt like it was the happiest day of my life to have happened in 2007. 

Oh, and I asked him if he shared his e-mail with his girlfriend and he said he doesn't have a girlfriend. He asked me why. I said your e-mail is Ain? He just smiled. So, at this point of time, he didn't actually reveal the truth.

This is just part 1. There's more. Remember... I have 10 years of experience to tell! *Evil laugh*

Yours truly.